If you are like millions of families across the globe, your whole family is suddenly home during the day. Mom, Dad and kids together instead of heading out to work, school, or even college due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Parents are attempting to work from home, occupy the kids, keep food and supplies in the house, stay calm and share the wifi. It is not easy, I am right there with you and I understand. Here are my tips for staying sane:
If you are like millions of families across the globe, your whole family is suddenly home during the day. Mom, Dad and kids together instead of heading out to work, school, or even college due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Parents are attempting to work from home, occupy the kids, keep food and supplies in the house, stay calm and share the wifi. It is not easy, I am right there with you and I understand. Here are my tips for staying sane:
1. Empathy, Empathy, Empathy
Remember that this is stressful for or your kids as well. They may be taking advantage of the extended spring break but they are aware that something is very wrong. While many may normally complain about school or homework on a daily basis, this disruption is stressful for them as well. There are still a lot of unknowns. Perhaps instead of being worried that they are being ‘lazy’, you should understand they might now know what to do with themselves to stay occupied - and all the changes may make it difficult for them to concentrate or focus, even for a limited time, on academics. I completely understand parents wanting to enforce a daily schedule, including homeschooling activities, but remember what they really need from you is to be mom or dad.
Remember that this is stressful for or your kids as well. They may be taking advantage of the extended spring break but they are aware that something is very wrong. While many may normally complain about school or homework on a daily basis, this disruption is stressful for them as well. There are still a lot of unknowns. Perhaps instead of being worried that they are being ‘lazy’, you should understand they might now know what to do with themselves to stay occupied - and all the changes may make it difficult for them to concentrate or focus, even for a limited time, on academics. I completely understand parents wanting to enforce a daily schedule, including homeschooling activities, but remember what they really need from you is to be mom or dad.
2. Ease up on counting screen time minutes
Many of us (kids, teens and parents) are likely on our screens a bit too much now. I know screen time battles are normal in many homes. Don’t try to enforce your usual tech time limits - these are not normal times. Instead of focusing on time spent online, focus on the purpose of the connection. Are they reaching out to friends, learning a new skill, organizing a House Party get together, or finding creative ways to express themselves? As long as they are balancing passive media use with active and productive interactions, it may be best to cut them (and you) some slack. While I encourage mindful and purposeful use of technology as part of my digital wellness lessons, a little extra mindless entertainment in stressful times is permissible.
Many of us (kids, teens and parents) are likely on our screens a bit too much now. I know screen time battles are normal in many homes. Don’t try to enforce your usual tech time limits - these are not normal times. Instead of focusing on time spent online, focus on the purpose of the connection. Are they reaching out to friends, learning a new skill, organizing a House Party get together, or finding creative ways to express themselves? As long as they are balancing passive media use with active and productive interactions, it may be best to cut them (and you) some slack. While I encourage mindful and purposeful use of technology as part of my digital wellness lessons, a little extra mindless entertainment in stressful times is permissible.
3. Allow for social interacting online
Social distancing does not have to mean social isolation. Allow your kids to use their digital skills to stay in touch with friends. This may mean more online gaming, more social media, more group texts and FaceTime calls than you would normally allow, but they need social interaction with their peers as much as you do. Recognize digital technologies allow them to remain connected to their social lives. If you have little ones, consider setting them up to use your devices for Skype, Zoom or other video calls with friends. As a bonus, these long hours at home could be a great time for you to learn how TikTok or Roblox works and why they love it so much.
Social distancing does not have to mean social isolation. Allow your kids to use their digital skills to stay in touch with friends. This may mean more online gaming, more social media, more group texts and FaceTime calls than you would normally allow, but they need social interaction with their peers as much as you do. Recognize digital technologies allow them to remain connected to their social lives. If you have little ones, consider setting them up to use your devices for Skype, Zoom or other video calls with friends. As a bonus, these long hours at home could be a great time for you to learn how TikTok or Roblox works and why they love it so much.
4. Communication
One of the hardest parts about being a parent right now is not having the answers. It is no longer possible to shield even elementary school aged kids from the news. What you can do is make sure they are not looking to questionable online sources for information about the coronavirus. Be proactive in keeping them updated on what you DO know (age appropriate information of course). You might also want to guide them to trusted news and quality journalism so they do not fall prey to misinformation, conspiracy theories and alarmist headlines. A potential focus for any home schooling activities right now should be digital and media literacy skills - how to spot fake news, urban legends and online scams. Some good sources: Snopes, FactCheck.org and The Factual.
One of the hardest parts about being a parent right now is not having the answers. It is no longer possible to shield even elementary school aged kids from the news. What you can do is make sure they are not looking to questionable online sources for information about the coronavirus. Be proactive in keeping them updated on what you DO know (age appropriate information of course). You might also want to guide them to trusted news and quality journalism so they do not fall prey to misinformation, conspiracy theories and alarmist headlines. A potential focus for any home schooling activities right now should be digital and media literacy skills - how to spot fake news, urban legends and online scams. Some good sources: Snopes, FactCheck.org and The Factual.
5. Let them Choose a Family Activity
Whether it is watching a movie you’ve already seen 10 times or board game that bores you, try to focus on their need for what is familiar and comforting. I know going in that I will lose any video game challenge, but parenting is at least 50% humbling on a good day, so just got with it.
None of us are used to everyone in the family being home this much. Yes, you might want to make sure they are spending their time wisely, but put it all in perspective. What our families need right now is comfort, support, and unconditional love (mom and dad too). Focus on the big picture, a little extra screen time to avoid a meltdown may be better than an unpleasant few weeks. Try not to feel guilty for easing up on your normal routine and limits. Be practical, not perfect (whatever that is) when it comes to tech use during times of stress. This too shall pass. All of us can readjust once life is more normal again. For now, let’s focus on survival.
Whether it is watching a movie you’ve already seen 10 times or board game that bores you, try to focus on their need for what is familiar and comforting. I know going in that I will lose any video game challenge, but parenting is at least 50% humbling on a good day, so just got with it.
None of us are used to everyone in the family being home this much. Yes, you might want to make sure they are spending their time wisely, but put it all in perspective. What our families need right now is comfort, support, and unconditional love (mom and dad too). Focus on the big picture, a little extra screen time to avoid a meltdown may be better than an unpleasant few weeks. Try not to feel guilty for easing up on your normal routine and limits. Be practical, not perfect (whatever that is) when it comes to tech use during times of stress. This too shall pass. All of us can readjust once life is more normal again. For now, let’s focus on survival.